Don’t Feel Guilty About Missing Your Kids’ After-School Sports Practices, Says Abby Wambach
Two-time Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach encourages parents not to feel guilty if they can’t make it to their kids’ after-school sports practices. The former U.S. Women’s National Team soccer star says that leaving children with their teammates and coaches without parental supervision can help them become more resilient, conscientious, and internally motivated athletes.
Wambach shared her insights during an October 21 interview on NBC’s *TODAY Show*. According to parenting experts, these traits are essential in helping kids grow into successful adults.
> “Drop your kids off. Sit in your car, play on your phone, do whatever you want to do, read a book, go for a walk, but do not go to the practice,” said Wambach, who is a member of the National Soccer Hall of Fame and a stepmother to three step-children.
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> “This is a time for your kids to play, to not be looking over their shoulders [to see if a parent is watching].”
Why Parents Should Step Back
Wambach explained in a September 23 episode of her *Welcome to the Party* podcast that if children see their parents watching from the sidelines, it can “outsource their motivation.” This can make kids either nervous or overly driven to impress their parents, which may hinder their ability to develop self-motivation.
> “Nothing should ‘encumber them from trying something new, taking a risk, making a mistake, trying something, being successful,’” Wambach said. “We want our kids to be self-starters and internally motivated.”
The Importance of Internal Motivation
Children who are internally motivated tend to grow into adults who consistently strive to do their best regardless of whether anyone is watching. Neuropsychologist William Stixrud stressed the value of fostering a sense of agency in children during a March 28 episode of the *Raising Good Humans* podcast.
> “[Your] mission is not to make sure that they turn out a certain way or that they always do well, [but] to help them figure out who they want to be, what kind of life they want and how to create the life that they want,” said Stixrud.
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> “So that they can ultimately run their own life before they leave home.”
Showing Up to Games: What Parents Should Do
When attending your children’s sports games, Wambach recommends avoiding giving them pointers on how to run faster or kick harder. Instead, parents should focus less on winning or losing and more on leadership and good sportsmanship.
> “Deemphasize the outcomes of winning or losing and overemphasize the acts of leadership,” Wambach advised on her podcast.
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> Highlight moments when your child—or other players—are good teammates. Ask your child:
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> “What did you see out there today that was a special win that had nothing to do with the score line? Did you see your teammate cheering? Did you pick up the cones for your coach without being asked?”
By encouraging these behaviors and fostering independence during practices, parents can help their kids build the resilience and motivation needed for both sports and life success.
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*Disclosure: NBC and CNBC are divisions of NBCUniversal.*
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https://www.cnbc.com/2025/10/25/abby-wambach-why-parents-shouldnt-attend-their-kids-sports-practices.html